Short term & Long Term Friendships
by
Chelseawroteit
- 4:56 PM
Friendship-- Do you remember your first friend, ever? I think my earliest memory was when I was about 4 years old (kindergarten). Her name was Charm. I remember she gave me a necklace which I dropped in the toilet.. which I later retrieved by hand (when you're a kid, you're not as resourceful!)
There was also a boy next-door who I would watch Power rangers with. His name was "Dunkin", as in dunkin donuts. haha. I was very sad when those two people left without saying goodbye. I had already told my mom that I was gonna marry Dunkin. LOL. But as life goes, both of them had to move. Over the years I met many great friends who've helped me to become the person who I am now. I've made true friends, fake friends, best friends and at one point was even a (happy) loner.
Long Term friends
-It may have been a decade since you last saw each other, or years since you've talked on the phone, but the love will still be there. You can pick up just as easily. Time & distance isn't an issue.
-There's trust. Even when you both have other "best friends" or close friends, there's no competition. You know who you are to them.
-True friends are always after your best interest. They will let you know if they see danger lurking (e.g bad boyfriends), but they'll also learn to respect your decision after realizing that it's pointless trying to change your mind.
-Even if they're going through a rough patch, they will genuinely be happy for you & encourage you to reach further.
-You will not feel guilty receiving help from them because they haven't made you feel like you owe them something. They will help because they want to!
-Both parties are trying. If it seems to be one-sided even after you've tried reviving it, let it go.
-They value the time you spend with them.
Short Term friends
-Will spill your secrets behind your back.
-Will be there when you're both down, but will avoid you when you're on top of the world. They can't stand to see you do better than them.
-After chillin' with them, you feel so full of negative energy. If all you ever do is gossip, you probably don't have much in common apart from the people you both know.
-They don't listen to you, it's always about them. They're inconsiderate and insensitive to your needs.
-They have humiliated you in front of other people and passed it off as a joke. They don't stand up for you either.
-You feel like you're trying so hard to say the right things around them & you don't feel like yourself.
-They encourage self-destructive behavior and make you feel guilty for wanting to be better (e.g the drinking buddy who doesn't want you to quit)
Being a (Happy) Loner
It is very possible to feel alone in a crowded room. The only time we don't feel alone is when we've established a connection with someone or something. You can have 20 friends in a room, not feel a single connection with any of them and feel very lonely. Or you could have 2 friends who make you laugh til you snort, that you can honestly say that's all you need.
It is also true that just because you're alone, doesn't mean that you're lonely. It just means that you are comfortable with your independence. Back in 2013, I traveled to Asia by myself. I did not travel alone because I hated having people around. I traveled alone because even when my friend cancelled on me-- I didn't have a problem getting on that plane by myself. I was 100% excited. I met a crap-ton of friends during the trip that I cried on my way back cause I had such a great time. Not once did I make my friend feel bad for not coming, and she didn't make a big deal about me leaving either. You see how this thing works? Love them, support them, set them free... and they will come back to you.
Finding a Balance
Human connection is everything, but if you can't even go for two hours without talking to someone, then you might have a problem. You have to be okay with people leaving and doing their own thing. You have to realize that they are not living for you; they are living for themselves. We all want to be free, do you agree?
Free yourself of negative relationships and remember that the most important relationship is the one that you have with yourself.
Photos taken this week :P
Ciao,
Chelsea
